My internet appears to be working full time now. I only hope it stays this way.

On the 25th of October, beginning at midnight and ending at 0100, I performed the rituals of change upon myself, taking all I have gained and using it to renew myself once more. In the days approaching the ritual, I found great flaws within myself, the most prominent of which would be my deteriorating ability to empathise. To help people the way I used to.

So I started work. I had already amassed countless blocks of data, so I analysed them and ran the change through myself, meditating on it before running the usual spiritual pursuits along with some new smaller intricate parts to strengthen myself and my resolve.

It all took effect on the first, when I cleared my mind and resolved to use the new mindset I had designed for myself.

I apologise for my lack of comments as of late- I have been rather busy. I will catch up, though perhaps not soon.

There has also been a new development today which has altered my mindset, as well as showing me an opportunity to regain myself, and the parts of myself that I lost after 2004 October Curse. For those of you that don't remember, it was number two on this list.

Much has happened in he last two months... I have a stable life at university now, a messy but suitable room, still no heating but I manage to stay warm enough. I've made a few of what I may yet grow to call close friends, and I apparently seem to be getting more and more healthy as time goes on. Go figure. I am still without internal bleeding, though I did have a few recent scares where I -thought- I saw blood. I guess it's just my imagination.

I went home around the 30th to visit my family. I also saw some of my good friends whilst there. I wish I'd had more time with them, and more time to visit others as well...but unfortunately sometimes these things fail to present themselves. I'm glad with what I got: Some valued time with my close homefriends, and to be part of the pack again, even though I know we're never truly apart, I feel so solitary out here. It feels almost as if I'm not part of a pack at all sometimes.

The work load is almost funny in the way it is not. I have much to do...

Anyway...Now I go to rest. I have had trouble sleeping recently, and I need to catch up.

I hope you are all well.

~
Demi